So we start our second IVF cycle tomorrow.
Step one? Something my hubby and I jokingly call “A peek and a poke.”
It’s not nearly as pornographic as it sounds. Just an exam and bloodwork to make sure all is well physically and chemically.
And I find I’m excited and more than just a little nervous. I keep thinking “what if we go through all of this and it doesn’t work.” Heck, what if it does work a bit too well and we end up with a bumper crop of kids?
So many niggling doubts and worries mixed with flashes of hope.
I watch my daughter jabber to her toys and cradle the huge Mickey Mouse we were swindled into buying at Disney. She’s trying to sing her ABC’s and stacking blocks as she sits bathed in the shadow cast by the setting sun.
How my heart longs for another to join her on the floor tossing blocks and cradling toys.
But, if for whatever reason this doesn’t work and we’re unable to adopt, if this is the only child we were meant to have…what a gift to treasure.
She is my heartbeat.