My heart longs for another baby.
Even though I know going through yet another IVF will be financially and physically tough.
Even though I know going through another hyperemesis gravidarum pregnancy will be hell.
The bumper crop of babies in my family has this older mom thinking nostalgically about nuzzling a newborn. Hearing my toddler ask about babies and pretend to have a little sister has made my heart go pitter pat.
And then there’s the dreaded biological clock.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls…
Time is running out if we’re going to try and get pregnant again.
But making decisions out of fear is never good.
So every day over the past month I’ve gotten quiet and asked, “can I do this?” “should we try”
Each time the answer was “you are strong.”
So, guess whose climbing back in the stirrups again in a few weeks. Even as I wrote that there’s part of me screaming “are you crazy!”
Yeah, baby crazy…
But crazy like a fox (I hope) this time around.
I’ve started working out with a physical trainer to build muscle tone–something you lose when you get that sick–and strength. And the two of us will develop a modified routine if/when the hubby and I get pregnant.
I’m taking the advice of other second and third time moms who’ve survived HG and double checking to make sure I still have good insurance coverage that will provide me with the right meds, equipment, and a home health aide if needed.
Ditto on lining up help with the kiddo and housework.
And emotionally? I’m still working on that part. We both are. The memories of past difficulties are still fresh after all.
All we can do is have hope that at the end of all the struggle we’ll be twice blessed with another bundle of joy.